"Confidence isn't walking into a room with your nose in the air thinking you're better than everyone else. It's walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place..."

Why Doesn't Confidence Last Very Long?

If you ever found your confidence shaky and unstable, especially when you're around someone more 'successful' than you are, chances are is that your confidence is either attached to 'things', personal achievements, or validation from the people around you. Though these sources could sometimes serve as a booster, it doesn't last very long because the moment we lose those things or the people that we've been seeking validation from, we also lose our confidence. 

How I Hit Rock Bottom

In early 2021, I found myself in such a position. I've always been someone who was extremely confident about myself and my capabilities. Ever since I was young, I had a deep 'knowing' that I was destined for greatness. I always felt that somehow I was different; that I could see things no one else could. I felt I was special; like as if I was the chosen one; and though that feeling was unique to me, I now know that each and everyone of us, at some point during our younger days, we felt 'unstoppable'.

During the 2nd complete lockdown in our country, Malaysia, we lost our studio; a place that was 9 years in the making for us. It was everything that we ever dreamt off. Every inch of that studio felt so right. We knew it would be great, however as life would have it, we had to shut it down along with the 13 employees that we had. To top if off, we found ourselves betrayed by someone we really trusted who tried to intentionally dismantle our lives work apart by driving our customers away through dishonesty; bringing about massive complaints from people that were once crazy over our brand; stealing from us on multiple occasions, while selling our inventory to his personal clients for his own benefit.

Everything that we've worked towards for the past 9 years (2012 - 2021) quickly fell apart. We lost our regular customers, we lost our studio, we lost our team and some valuable inventory. There we were working tirelessly day in and out, trying to make ends meet just so that we could help our employees keep their jobs and support our new born child, however this time, we were beaten. With the pressures of money, business and the worries of not being able to feed our new born child, our marriage started to deteriorate. A couple that was once the envy of many for the love we shared were on the brink of separation. This was my new version of rock bottom.

Losing Confidence

As the world around me began to fall apart, I felt pieces of me being taken away. Though I never lost the hunger, motivation and drive in me to keep going; I did lose the believe, confidence and 'trust' that I had in myself. I started to believe that I may not be the person who i thought I was. I started to think that I was unlikeable, unlovable and unworthy of any goodness. I started to believe that I may not be as 'capable' as I thought I was, thus causing my actions to be 'safe', 'lifeless' and without the 'risks' I would normally take. I was afraid of losing my life and my confidence again.

This version of me, was the version that connected 'Confidence' to people, things and the achievements I've manage to accumulate. In other words, my 'Confidence' back then depended on the success of my 'Environment' which made it unstable, uncertain and prone to falling apart. It would never be unshakable simply because it is impossible to predict the future nor can we dictate the way someone responds to us. If our confidence relies heavily on those factors, we will never know 'true' confidence like we're supposed to.

An Awakening

Though everything around me seemed like a lost cause at first, however underneath all the chaos and the rubble, something BIG was happening. Though it was hard for me to see it then, but looking back at it now with unshakable confidence, it was clear that the 'Universe' were removing everything from my life that was not in line with my 'Destiny'. It was clearing away the 'noise' and 'things' that I've accumulated in my life; the things that used to define my ability to feel 'confidence'.

It was removing all the unnecessary distractions and the attachments that I had to the people that were no longer serving my highest purpose. The Universe was teaching me a massive lesson. The biggest and most powerful lesson of my life thus far. It was teaching me what it truly means to 'trust' in my inner voice and to follow it to the end. It was teaching me not to betray myself and to 'Love' myself more than anyone could ever love me. It was teaching me the importance of building a deep and powerful relationship with myself; to understand myself in a way that no one ever will. It was teaching me the art of true unshakable 'confidence'.

What Is True Confidence & How To Build It?

Personally, i think self-confidence is a lot about the 'trust' that we build with ourselves. Are we betraying who we are? Are we going against what we stand for? Am I showing up each day just as how I planned to? Are my actions making me 'proud' of who I am? Am I honest or am I destroying my integrity? Am I building 'trust' with myself or do I keep breaking the promises I make to myself?

To me, self-confidence is a lot like love. We don't look at someone and fall in love with them instantly. It is not a singular action. It is however, a combination of mundane and seemingly insignificant things that the other does for us that makes us fall in love with them; such as that random surprise meal she cooked or the way he showed up unexpectedly to take you on a date. Opening the car door for you, that cuddle that makes you feel safe and secure, the moment of catching him admiring you from a corner in a party or waking up to a simple message on an important day at work that says, 'You've got this!'

Building confidence is a lot like that, except it's the little 'insignificant' promises that you make to yourself which makes the difference. It starts from something as small as making a pledge to make your bed each morning, to establishing 'disciplines' such as not checking your phone the moment you wake up for 30 mins; to something more serious like following through on your daily/weekly goals. 

Despite all that, one of the most important things to keep in mind when building self-confidence is to remember that 'Failure' is inevitable and part of the process. There are days where you are going to want to sleep in, or laze out, or have a cheat meal, or miss out on a whole week's task due to unforeseen influences in your time. There are days where it will feel like you took 1 step forward and 3 steps back. Just know that when any of this happens, you have the chance to hit the 'Continue' button anytime. 

Just remember that in the process of change, especially when it comes to establishing new routines and disciplines, it is always a 'dance' back and forth between the old and new you until you are able to completely shed off the old habits and step into the new you; and that's okay. Don't mistaken temporary setbacks for forever state of being. Failure is just an 'event'. It is not a person. It is an opportunity to reflect, reassess and to 'continue' stronger...

What Does True, Unshakable Self-Confidence Look Like?

Self-confidence is about showing up each day unapologetically and demonstrating the highest and most glorious version of  you into the world. It's about changing your focus from 'the people around you' to 'YOU'. It's recognizing that like everyone else, 'YOU' have something great to offer to this world. It's the ability to turn inwards and literally ASK YOURSELF, "What can I do now?" and to trust in your voice and to follow it to the end. It's about letting the Divine in 'You' to guide 'You'. 

Start Small, But Dream Big...

So the questions, what are the steps to building true and unshakable self-confidence?

1. Confidence Is Loving & Accepting 'ALL' of You

I want you to look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, "I LOVE YOU (Your Name)" and notice what you feel. Do you accept those words or are you rejecting yourself? Regardless the outcome, it's okay. Healing is a journey and it's important to know where you are with yourself. This is a great way to keep checking on how 'far' or 'close' to 'You' that you are with yourself, because if you can't learn to love yourself, it's just not logical to expect someone to fill you up with the love that you are supposed to be giving to yourself in the first place.

Action :

Write down all the things about you that you love, and all the things about you that you think you don't love.

Once you're done, I want you to imagine 'You' as the 'Younger and Innocent' child that you were saying those exact words to yourself. What would you say to yourself?

Next, imagine the 'Future' you (You at 60,70 or 80 years old) and give yourself an advice about what you have written down. What would the 'Future' you say to You right now?

2. Do Something That Makes You Proud of 'You'

Take a shower, relax by yourself and be comfortable when you're doing this. It is important not to be distracted. Best done in the morning or before you go to bed at night.

Action:

Ask yourself, "What is one small step that I can take right now, which will make me proud of who I am?"

Once you're done with this I want you to close your eyes, put your hands over your heart and just be proud that you made it this far. Keep this going...

3. Set 1 Small Short-Term Goal for Yourself

Confidence is about building the 'trust' that you have lost with yourself. Start by doing something small, and keep going. Remember, this is a process. It's okay to be delayed, to fall back, or to start over. Nothing is truly over until you say it is. So don't move on to the next until you have completed the first goal. Keep taking one step by a time, and trust that each moment is pregnant with the next...

Action:

Start by setting 1 small goal for yourself and achieve it then move on to the next. 

4. Reflect & Learn

Your gift into the world is LITERALLY the pain, struggles and sufferings that you are experiencing. It's there to help you experience it so that you can use it to share with the world. Find your way around it, find the lesson and use that experience to empower others who needs a helping hand. Remember, your greatest gift is always hiding in your greatest pain. So don't run from it, instead run to it and find out what is hidden on the other side...

"The best lesson I have learnt in life came from the worst feeling that I ever felt in life..." -Jay Shetty

5. Finally, Share Your Light...

Confidence is about finding out what you have to 'Give' at each moment in your life (doesn't need to be financially related). Believe it or not, regardless where you are in life right now, there is always something you can 'Give'.  

Your duty is to find out what is abundant in your life right now. Is it pain? Is it lessons? Is it humour? Is it Energy? Is it Wisdom? Is it Love? Is it Food? Is it Money? Is it Kindness? What do you have right now, which you could openly share with someone else who needs it more than you do?

As Neale Donald Walsch once said, "Know that your growth process is complete the moment you were born. There is nothing for you to attain or acquire here, but only to demonstrate and to give who you are as you go along the way."

Remember, you already have everything that you could possibly need right now to take your life to the next level...

"Sometimes when we are unable to see the light, it means that the time has come for us to 'Be' the light that we were looking for..."

Conclusion :

Though there can be many steps in between that would crop up along the way as you being this journey towards healing, just know that regardless what happens, the answer is always in you. Just close your eyes, ask yourself the question, and feel it in your heart... It's there... It always has been, and it always will be...

We're excited for you and we can't wait to hear about your journey! All the best and above all, congratulations on taking the first step towards building True, Unshakable Confidence...

P/S: We'd love hear from you. Just e-mail us at wtfbraceletofficial@gmail.com and we will be in touch. 

The Crystals That Began My Journey With Self-Confidence (although i'm sure everyone of my stones played a part some way or another) :

Yellow Tiger's Eye, Clear Quartz, Citrine, Jasper, Lava Rocks, Agate, Howlite, Moonstone, Rose Quartz

P/S: Take note that these crystals were only relevant for my situation and it will be different for you. To find out which crystals is best for you, CLICK HERE and contact us. We will take you through a step by step guide on finding the right stones to suit your needs. Sending you lots of Love, Light, Happiness and Abundance always...*hugssssss*